Blonde jokes

Two blondes are standing by a river. One asks another, ``How do I get to the other side?'' The other blonde answers, ``You are on the other side!''

A blonde goes to a shop. She admires the items for a while, then asks the clerk, ``How much is this TV?'' The clerk replies, ``I'm sorry miss, I'm not allowed to sell items to blondes.'' So the blonde goes back.
The next day, she dyes her hair black and goes back to the shop. Again, she asks the clerk, ``How much for that TV?'' And again the answer is, ``I'm sorry miss, I'm not allowed to sell items to blondes.'' So she goes back.
The day after that, she dyes her hair brown and goes back to shop again. For the third time, she asks the clerk, ``How much is this TV?'' And yet again the answer is, ``I'm sorry miss, I'm not allowed to sell items to blondes.'' So the blonde admits defeat. She asks the clerk, ``How did you know I'm a blonde?'' To which the clerk replies, ``Because, miss, that's a microwave oven.''

A blonde joins a terrorist group. She is told, ``Go blow up this car:'' and given a license number. So she sets out. A few hours later, she comes back, tired and with a big, black, bleeding lips. Her colleagues ask her, ``What happened?'' And she replies, ``I burnt my lips on the exhaust pipe!''